By: Silindile Mbali Ndlovu

Feelings have everything if anything to do with how we conduct ourselves. We respond via emotion we relate via emotion we are emotion. We recognise and have accustomed how we live our lives via emotion yet and still we are not in the emotion of sympathising. Instead sympathy looks pathetic but it’s actually bold. And trust me I’m not talking about the sympathy you are taught to write in a card when someone has passed away. I’m talking empathy that goes beyond what you are feeling and allowing someone else to be heard.

I tweeted on the social network Twitter, “I sympathise with women who are in relationships that are everything to them but others don’t see it.”I said this because there are two sides to the tweet/statement. The first being, I sympathise because no one wants to be a listener. No one wants to allow the person experiencing the emotions and feelings to feel it without diagnosing them. We are prone to stipulating to whom to people what they should be feeling. No one wants to listen and leave it there. Everything has a prognosis.

Secondly I sympathise because not everything is black and white. You’re in a relationship and very aware of the reality you in, but you love that person and are facing difficulty. People are afraid of disruption or problems. Kinks seem foreign to people when the kinks are in other people’s problems when they actually sharpen the character. So boldly I tweeted I sympathise because not every relationship is a bed of roses. I know this very well with my mother and myself. We love each other but battle to convey it at times, the other will seem draconian in manner.

I fail to see how people no longer sympathise because we all need compassion. We all need
someone who is there just to listen and not just hear what we are saying. And sympathy begins inside a very internal dissection occurs there. When you can sympathise with yourself and what’s going on about you then you can allow that sympathy to ooze out to others so cut yourself and others some slack and show compassion by listening and not diagnosing. Leave that for the doctors and forensics.

About The Author:


I am a young woman that has grown up in a warm suburb called Westville in Durban, Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa. I believe my surroundings have founded in me a desire for people. My greatest passion lies in online and broadcast media. I studied media because I believe that every life is a story being told. I enjoy reading singing and just being around people. I also enjoy traveling Africa and the world awaits I’m inspired to get to see more. I’m a daughter sister child of God and lover, find me on Twitter as @Miss_Mbali


  1. “listening and not diagnosing”. I love that. Thank you X

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  2. Spoke to me directly sis, happened this morning, where I was only required to just listen. I failed. Thank you!! 🙂

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  3. That nerve/node called sympathy needs to be triggered.

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  4. Fabulous. Well written evoking piece. 100% agree

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