By: Katchie Nzama
Greetings from Dar es Salaam, Tanzania
As I am traveling I am learning a lot of things about the different African cultures. How we are all so amazingly different. I spent some time in Zambia and learnt something very interesting, I can be very inquisitive to a point where I can make an introvert a very uncomfortable.
I was raised to be open about sex. We talk about it openly and nothing is off bounds. During my time in Zambia I met a few young ladies who felt they would willingly share their experiences and sexual lessons that had been passed on from generation to the next.
So when a Zambian girl is about to get married what happens. It’s a whole party.
I’d like to share with you about the CHIZELA. A few days before getting married, the girl is introduced to an elder woman who she goes to for lessons on how to be a good wife. How to be respectful, how to cook, to present the food etc. She is taught various things but most importantly how to carry herself sexually. She is taught how to move her waist without the rest of her body moving and various sexual positions and how to clean her man up after the sexuals. She needs to own a face cloth that only she uses, she must always keep a bowl of water under her bed which she will use to clean up her husband. Zambian women are taught that it is their job to satisfy a man sexually, she must do whatever it takes.
I found this very interesting as I come from a society that dictates that it is the man’sjob to satisfy his woman sexually.
In both my Venda and Zulu cultures I have not heard of anything like this, it could be maybe because I am not getting married but my aunt’s and mom would have told me everything already.
Then on a Friday night, the bride to be’s family comes together with the grooms family. Only females from each family are allowed. And this party, there is a lot of singing, dancing and nudity. At this party the bride to be will reenact everything she learned from her teacher and basically show the grooms family what she knows and has been taught and how she will satisfy her husband sexually. Is your jaw on the floor yet?
Well I am glad I got friends in Zambia who were very open and comfortable discussing this with me. In Malawi talking about sex is taboo it would seem. I would have like to compare notes. I was not brave enough to write about this for a while, perhaps one day I will be brave enough to share the process of young women who have to pull their labia in the name of intensified sexual pleasure.
Hopefully I’ll find someone who will be willing to share more interesting practices in Tanzania. As you read this in your office, please know that I’m in Zanzibar chasing cute boys on the beach. My life I’d hard.
Besides being a superhero, I also live in a perfect garden with the most gorgeous of fairies. A proud serial cuddler. forever in wanderlust. Editor and founder of www.travelmzantsi.com.