By: Andiswa Machanyana
This morning I woke up to my mother’s sms around 03:00 – imagine , the good child in me wanted to read it then but the rebellious self said ‘wait ,it’s probably one of those ,read it after your first cup of coffee’.
And so I gave in to my rebellious self, did not open the text until 09:00.
Let me tell you a bit about my mother, Lord knows I love her, I might not say it every day but I do. My mother is not your modern day mom, getting a text from her used to be one of those erratic junctures but I see now she’s really getting into this whole texting thing. She used to be the kind that calls day or night , if she happens to have something to say ,she would pick up that phone and call whenever she can if you are half asleep – your problem not hers.
Her texts started out as one liners, they would go like —
‘Your niece is sick’
A minute later while you thinking whether to call or text, you would get a follow up that would read something like
‘I was thinking of taking her to a doctor’
Now you would start to panic and call, only to hear that it’s nothing serious you don’t have to worry but a little something in her bank account would not hurt in case it gets serious. A week later you will get two liners.
‘One of your fathers cow is coughing, we were thinking of getting some medication, you know how he is about his cows’
‘We have a church conference next week and I need a new mantle ‘
‘I think we are going to run out of cement or sand maybe’
And so on they would go.
Now you get the picture and understand why I might be more inclined to give in to my recalcitrant self. Before I stray too much this morning’s sms was like a three pager and I though, wow! mother has thought this one thru.It read
“Molweni egautini nasekapa , if I am not mistaken I think its mother’s day this coming weekend I thought I should remind all of you – I have enough morning gowns, morning sleepers, and socks, I am certainly not short of confers and pyjamas ,oh especially the flannel winter pyjamas, leg warmers njalo-njalo.I definitely have no use for candles scented or not and that goes for bath salts. So when you kids do you’re shopping for this years gifts you must keep all of this in mind.Enkosi umama wenu.”
It did not caught me by surprise, what she doesn’t know though is , I had already bought a lighter shade of pink of the same gown I bought two years ago with matching sleepers , matter of fact they are already on their way to her(hopefully they get there before Sunday). I mean how was I supposed to pass on the 80% sale at woollies last year? Wasn’t she the one who imparted the gift of spotting bargains onto us, and to only shop during clearance sale? I am after all my mother’s daughter and I aim to please always.
On a more serious note though, now that I am a mother I can’t appreciate more what my mother has taught and continues to instil to my sisters and I.
A gift is a gift, something unmerited especially when it comes from one of your own, you can always be assured that it comes from a place of love, appreciate it, and let the giver know just how much.
Children don’t have to be perfect
For the longest time, I had this idea that my mother expected us to be perfect, I remember when we planned our very first mother’s day surprise my sisters and I. I was at varsity and I told my sisters that I was coming and we planned to surprise her with this big luncheon at home and gifts and stuff. I instructed my sisters to leave church early so they could help me prepare, of cause they obeyed but little did we know that church was going to dismiss early, while we were half way thru with preparations we were told she was on her way. We locked ourselves inside the house trying to perfect our improvised decor, outside was my mother knocking and knocking, no answer just silence. She went next door they told her they saw me coming in blah blah ,and now she came back banging the door and calling my name. Because we all were so scared of her we had to open for her, needless to say the surprise was ruined, she was still surprised alright, angry and happy she told us
‘I might have high expectations but, I don’t want perfect children, I just want my daughters to know what potential is, recognise it and never ever forget that you are great the way you are.’
Angry? Don’t stay there forever
She may not know this but I have learned from her that staying angry at someone or something does you more harm than good. I am still learning to be slow to anger, avoid unnecessary tiffs, run if I can because – kulogwala kuyahlekwa kulokroti kuyalilwa.
I received my first business lesson from my mother, I was 16 when my first hair salon business failed, she told me to keep trying and if I was going to employ family I should be prepared to be a mentor, a sister, a friends, an employer, a loan shark, a shrink twentyfourseven and it will pay off some day.
Sense of humour and picture
She told me to never ever lose my sense of humour and to always take pictures whenever I can, because it is amazing what a picture will tell you long after it was captured.
Love Love and more Love
If I do love it is because my mother always reminded us to love without expectations, to Love all the time and always – If your heart is pure it will be hard for people not to notice…
Let me response to this text –
Happy mother’s day.